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December 16, 2018

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pages by glasnick

True Stories

Love is Everything
Lisa loved basketball
Friends and parties too
And when it came to painting
That's all she wanted to do
She painted everything she saw
Birds, flowers, and the sky
Some days she sat at her window
And painted everything that passed her by
But lately she'd been feeling woozy
Her muscles ached a lot
And her parents got kind of worried
So they took her to the doc
The doctor took a couple of tests
To see if everything was okay
Then the nurse came out with a look of sadness
And this is what she had to say;
"I'm sorry but you've got leukemia,"
"You've got about 3 months more."
Then Lisa got up and ran out of the room
And slammed the office door
She ran down the street screaming
And cried her eyes out dry
And stayed up all night
Wondering what it's like to die
Her parents held her tightly
And said, "We love you,"
"We'll make your last few months the greatest,"
"We'll do anything for you."
So Lisa and her parents moved to Florida
To live by the sea
Because Lisa loved the ocean
And when she dies, that's where she wanted to be
She spent her days painting
And horseback riding in by the bay
But one day she met this guy
And his name was Jay
They collected seashells together
And talked about all kinds of things
And then one day while walking
He handed her a ring It said,"I love you,"
Which brought tears to Lisa's eyes
And when he put it on her finger
She began to cry
He asked her what was wrong, and she replied,
"I've got leukemia, and about a month more."
He said," No matter what, I love you,"
"And no matter what, you are the one I adore."
So they spent everyday together
And swam in the Atlantic all day
But Lisa was getting weaker
And it was hard for her stay awake
So one day Lisa painted her picture
And gave it to Jay She said,
"I want you to remember me,"
"Even when I leave this place."
But one day while they were walking
And searching for seashells in the sand
Lisa collapsed and started to lose her breath
And said to Jay, "Please hold my hand."
"I love you more than anyone,"
You are my only true love,"
"But now my time is up,"
"And I'll watch over you from above,"
Then Lisa's body was lifeless
As she lay in Jay's arms
And he sat there all day
And kept her safe from harm!

I hope this teaches you a lesson. To tell someone you love them whenever you can. Because maybe they'll be gone tomorrow. And you won't be there to hold their hand. Because love is everything to everybody. Without it, the world would be dead. So always tell someone you love them. A parent, a lover, a friend. Send this to everyone you know, it makes a big difference even though you don't think so... Everyone deserves an "I love you." Because there may be No one for that person to say it back to.

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat." Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh....Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but he was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.

Love realizing how much he owed the elder and asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Dear Brenda, on one of my dates, my date told me to dress in formal attire. I did, and he showed up in a tux. We got into the car, and he blindfolded me, so I couldn't see where we were going. He walked me to the door, and I could hear the familiar voices of some of my close friends. He sat me down in a booth, and removed my blindfold, only for me to realize that I was in Sharis! They were all in formal attire also... and I quickly found out that all the guys had planned this weeks in advance, and none of the girls had had any idea about it. Then the guys, knowing that the girls adored Shakespeare, pulled out copies of King Lear, and silently passed them out. They all opened them up, and started reading parts. We did the entire play, the girls picking up on the parts as we went along. It was the most fun I had ever had on a date! We proceeded to have our "Shakespeare nights" every two weeks from then on. Not always in formal attire of course, but it just goes to show that men can in fact, do romantic, fun things!
-Anonymous from the NW
yes, i am a geek. But I think that i have found a girl that likes me and i love her so. It started when we spoke on the phone 3 nights ago. Right away i could tell she liked me and that i liked her. Before we met in person(we were introed thru a friend) we spoke everynight on the phone til half past 12, and went online alot and spoke, even right after wed hang up. I met w/ her one night to mini-golf with some of our friends. I bought her a round of mini-golf. After we all got home like around 11:30, i spoke to her online and than called her and spoke to her on the phone for an hour or so. Tonight well go bowling. I really like her, and everybody i know can tell you im nerd-like. I live on my computer. But this girl reallyyyyy likes me. I figured id tell you about my love even though im a geek-guy.
Thanx, Dave
I had a wonderful time with someone I met at work. I had made the date with her about four weeks ahead of time but then five days before we were supposed to go out, the Thursday before, a traumatic situation happened during a shift at work. We both worked at a restaurant and as her "boss," she had asked me if she could go off the clock and take some our patrons to where they needed to go. It was a language barrier problem. We couldn't speak nor understand what they were saying and vice versa. Sheila decided to take them to their destination. Roughly an hour went by and a policeman called us. One of my workers came back to me and said, "Kenn, there's a cop on the phone and he wants to talk to someone about Sheila and her car..." I panicked and went for the phone but it went dead. I thought she was in an accident and I was a mess until the phone rang again. When it did, I answered, found out she was okay but her car had died. I didn't know what to do but told the officer that I would be out in a couple hours, after I had taken care of the money. I would be leaving the store with the workers but I didn't know what else to do. When I got there, she was standing holding jumper cables in her hands and looking stressed as it was about 2 in the morning and she was on a deserted stretch of highway. I ran to her, grabbed her, hugged her and told her that I thought she was in an accident. At first she reluctantly received my hug but then put her arms around my back, dropping the cables. We got her car started and she did with the cables what the cop told her to and then asked for another hug. I told her that she didn't need to ask and when I hugged her the second time, I actually told her that I loved her and kissed her on the cheek. Because of what I thought was an accident, I was scared and also any confusion I might have had about how I felt for her vanished. She couldn't believe it and told me the next night that I didn't remember what I said. When I told her that I didn't regret saying that I loved her, she was shocked. Two days later, on Saturday, I was at work, she had off, she called asking to speak to me. That evening she told me that she loved me! I was so happy I could have danced into the next morning. That Monday's date was a dream come true as we had a wonderful time. The waitress was incredible and treated us as if we were a king and queen so I wrote a letter to the restaurant and also to the head office. I called her at work and told her that she made Sheila's and my date extremely special. When she asked which couple we were and when I told her that I was the white man with the black woman, she knew immediately who we were. "Sir, I appreciate the compliments, but you and your wife made my night. You both were very courteous to me but thank you very, very much." I had to let her know that we were not husband and wife but that was actually our first date together. She actually coughed over the phone! She couldn't believe it. She told me that we were extremely comfortable with each other and seemed to sincerely enjoy each others company. We sure did as we are currently engaged and looking to become husband and wife next October! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share
. God bless Kenne Gales

I just got married 8 months ago and when my husband asked me to marry him it was the happiest day of my life.Our birthdays are one day apart, mine is first,so he decided to plan a trip to San Antionio Tx.Well I had no idea he was doing this,he asked my mom if it was o.k. with her and both of them kept it a secret.That night when we arrived in San Antionio he took me to a club where he sang Lady in Red to me (my favorite song) and then right about three minuits before midnite he began to read me this poem he had been writing on his lunch breaks for four weeks . In it he is telling everyone there how today is my birthday and in 2 mins it will be his and he wants to ask me to marry him on my birthday so I will say yes on his.Of course I said YES!!!! That is my romantic story .It is a birthday I will never forget. Annemarie
I left my abusive husband last October with basically nothing more than the clothes on my back and my car. I had hoped to finish school first, but then one night I realized I might not live that long if I stayed around. I had had an offer of a place to stay from someone I had met in an AOL chat room, and I had been to the house. It was a crack house, and about the most filthy place you could ever imagine. But after a week of rules and ungodly curfews at the women's shelter, the place started looking pretty good. So I gathered together the 10 articles of clothing I had managed to scrounge together, just never showed up at work again, and drove 100 miles to Phoenix, my new crack house home. There was another girl I knew from Tucson living there too, and she was also clean, but needed a place as well.

I lived there for 6 weeks, and had most of what I came with, and my credit card stolen in no time flat. But I had a roof over my head, and with the kindness of some strangers, I got to eat once in a while too. I lost a lot of weight those weeks. I made good time of it, and started going to a local club that caters to the scene I belong to, and started making new friends. I also found a crappie job to start getting money from and a new place to stay at the end of Jan. One Friday, things at the crack house where getting really psychotic, and I had to get away for a while, just my luck (probably the best phone call I ever got) a friend of mine called and said he had to get out too and wondered if I wanted to go hang out on a local strip for a couple of hours before hitting the club we go to.

I pounced on the opportunity, and headed down there without a word to any of my cracked out room mates. I met the friend and a few others and we started wandering down the street. We ducked into a little boutique and looked at all the neat stuff we couldn't afford ( I didn't even know how I was going to pay my way into the club that night) All of a sudden my friend turned around and started talking to this guy I had not seen before. The guy looked to be about 16, so when I was introduced, I just kind of said hi and continued my looking. The guys all stood around the shop talking for a while, and then called me over, apparently the one guy who had agreed to buy alcohol for the evening had to run and rescue his room mate, so they where wondering since I was over 21 if I would buy for them instead. except for the guy I thought was 16, they where all 19 or 20 so I said sure, being one of the belief that if you're old enough to die for you're country and vote, you are old enough to consume alcohol.

The 16 looking one handed me five dollars and everyone else handed me a five or a ten and then we discussed what to buy and the logistics of it. I ended up having to give my friend a ride to the club and then the 16 looking one wanted to follow us and hit the store for a mixer. We met him at his car and headed off to the store. From there I told him the party was in the back seat of my car and to find it in the parking lot of the club. And so he did. Not being a big drinker myself, I had a shot and then popped the trunk for them to put the empty locked the car and headed into the club. Later on, my friend came up to me and told me "You have an admirer" I laughed and asked who it was this time. He said *Gary I asked him who the heck Gary was. He told me it was the guy I thought was 16.

Then I really started laughing. I asked how old he was and made a comment about how that wasn't even legal in this state and was about to walk off. My friend stopped me and told me he was 19 or 20 and that he was a really nice guy. I was like "Sure" but my friend continues with telling me how Gary had been lonely and other things to make me think he was totally pathetic. I pointed this out and then my friend came back with but he's really good in bed. I rolled my eyes and told him I'd had enough of that conversation as I was leaving my friend stopped me and told me that the 3 of us where going to hang out later in the week to get to know each other. He said I didn't have a choice. I said not if I had anything to say about it, boy was I asking for it.

Soon Gary started coming up and talking to me about stuff, I was cordial, but kept inventing reasons to get away from him. I left and did not see him at the Denny's we go to afterwards. I ran into my clean room mate and offered to give her a ride home from there, as we where driving, the dash on my car with a mere 31000 miles on it caught fire. I stopped the car, got out, called AAA and then with no other options, called our waiter from Denny's to come rescue us. He sent a cab, let us into his apartment and then left to do errands. we slept until 3. Upon awakening I realized I had promised a few people a trip to Tucson that night and my car was nowhere near being fixed. I called the friend from the night before and told him the trip was off. He told me no it wasn't and he'd call me back in a few min. When he called back he told me that Gary was going to call me in a few min and to give him directions. I was like, who the heck is Gary?, my friend laughed at the dejavu and told me "the pathetic loser from last night"

Well, I needed a ride so I figured I might as well be nice to him, plus then I'd get to ride up front. He called and picked us all up and we headed out of town. We didn't talk the whole trip and just listened to music. When we got to the club there Gary and I drank a bit in the car, and then since I wasn't driving, I took a few big swigs. I brought a bottle into the club and then sneaked Gary into the girls room with me and we finished the 8 oz of vodka I had on me. I haven't been that drunk ever. I was feeling good though, not sick at all, just good. I said hi to all of my friends, and Gary followed me around like a puppy. When we hit the Denny's afterward he was right there again, and kept running his nails on my leg under the table. Finally we needed a place to crash so we met up with some other out of towners and stayed at my friends sisters place. while I was in the bathroom washing my make-up off, Gary made a little bed on the floor for both of us. I looked at it and then figured there where 7 other people in this tiny room, so no biggie.

We all started falling asleep, ( I was well sober by this point by the way), when Gary started "putting moves" on me. I was like eeew, but then he had a gentle touch and I figured I hadn't had as much as a good kiss in months so what could a little necking hurt. when he started going farther than I wanted to go, and I said stop, he was very nice and respect full and with arms around each other we fell asleep. Next day we talked all the way home, and he invited me over to his parents house to watch a movie. We watched it, and he kept touching me, I kept shaking him off, I thought he was too young for an old lady like me (I'm 23). And I didn't think I wanted to get involved just yet. He took me over to my new room mates place and as the new room mate, a nice enough looking guy who doesn't have a crack house, greeted me, Gary got the look of a dog who had just been scolded or something.

I hadn't planned on kissing him, or even talking to him again, but he looked so sad and I thought I had kind of led him on, so I grabbed him and kissed him. Now he looked happy. We said good night and that was it. A few days later I was bored at work and while scrounging, found Gary's number in my purse. I called him on my break, and we talked a bit. Soon he was coming over to my apartment every day. I was so mean to him too, I would ignore him, he had all my friends to talk to though, and I let him sleep over, but made him sleep on the floor. He was sooo sweet, and every night before going to sleep we had some GREAT conversations. I hadn't pegged him for being too bright, but every time I had a computer problem, he was right there to fix it, and so as I started giving him a chance, I suddenly realized that there was this absolutely amazing person right there under my nose and I hadn't even had the good sense to notice until then.

I still wasn't sure I was ready for a relationship, but I started to pay him a lot more attention. Before I knew it we where spending all of our time together and so we just kind of ended up going out. We now live together, and it has been an amazing few months. He turned out to be absolutely wonderful in every way, and very bright. I haven't been this happy with anyone. So even though we had a rocky start, it ended up just how it should, and even though the car repairs cost me a bundle, I consider it the luckiest thing to happen to me.

For my birthday one year, my hubby says to me (this is our second waltz, for both of us, and we have been married all of two years then), "Let's go and buy you your birthday present!" Me (overjoyed!): "Sure!" Off in the car we go, and hubby pulls up in front of a big appliance store (I AM a LIBRA, for gosh's sake!). Me: "Here?" Hubby: "Yes, I want you to pick out your very own MICRO-WAVE OVEN." This is the year 1983, and those monsters are still pretty luxury-oriented articles. Me (trying to hide disappointment): "Oh, okay.." I pick one out and we take the thing home. Hubby [the Taurus]: "I don't understand you; I thought you'd be happy to get this time-saving appliance for your birthday?" Me (lying): "I *am* happy... Hubby: "What then? What's wrong?" Me: "Can I tell you a story about my mom and dad?" Hubby:" Okay..."

Me: "One Christmas my dad [Taurus] opened a big present box from my mom [Libra]. As he takes out this brand-new shining chrome electric percolator, he can't help himself, it just slips out of him, '*I* am getting a COFFEE POT for Christmas? Is it really for ME?' Mom: 'Sure it is. Why not? I am always getting pots and pans for Christmas and my birthday..' From that moment on, my dad bought my mother "lady-like" gifts, no more kitchen paraphernalia. End of their story." Now, my hubby to me: "Alright, WHAT did you want for your birthday then?" Me:" A CAMERA!!!" Back into the car, and I had a new camera before the Coronado Mall closed that nite ... ;-)


One of a Kind Love
Contributed by: Leslie

This story begins about 10 years ago. . . I was coming out of a very bad marriage to a man who for seven long years spent his every waking moment telling me just what was wrong with me and finding new ways to torture me. After all that time I finally got up the nerve to ask my husband for a divorce. He answered by telling me that I would never find anyone to love me because I was just so insignificant and unattractive. This went on for about two years. One night one of my single girlfriends convinced me to go out on the town with her. We went to a local nightclub that was really popular and that is when I met him.

Clint was playing pool with a girl who was probably about 5 years younger than me at the time and I was only 24 at the time. I sat in the corner watching him and everyone around me having a really good time. I didn't feel that I had whatever it took to get up and mingle with everyone because of my self-esteem problem. Finally I got up the nerve to send him a drink by the waitress and when he got it, I was rewarded with the most dazzling smile and he made a quick beeline to me. We proceeded to spend the rest of the evening talking until I realized that it was almost morning. I figures that he was simply being nice to me because I had bought him a drink but the very next day he called and told me that He could not stop thinking about me and that he wanted to see me again and he wanted to meet me kids too.

When they finally met, it was as if they had known each other all their lives. About 3 months later, My divorce was final and Clint sat my boys down and asked them if it was alright with them if he asked me to marry him because he could not imagine life without the three of us anymore. I was so touched that he went to my boys and asked for their approval because they were the "men of the house" at the ripe old ages of 2 & 4 years old. They said yes and we have all been together every since. Clint gave me & my boys a second chance at a wonderful life. Not a day goes by that He doesn't tell us that we are the best thing that ever happened to him and that he loves us. I think that he has it backwards but I will accept it for the rest of my life!


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Write erotic messages on your body with glow in the dark paint, then lie on the bed in the dark and "wait." My husband loved this!

Put Hershey's Kisses on the ceiling fan in her room. When she sit on the bed, turn on the fan and SHOWER HER WITH KISSES!!!!!

This is for the guy's. Most women love a clean home. But when was the last time you men did the dishes or scrubbed and polished the floor? I cleaned hour house from top to bottom and my wife loved it. She came home with nothing to do but relax and enjoy spending time with the man she loves. Give it a try.

Go into her room while she is not there and lay a single rose on her bed with a card that says " I love you"

Blind fold your partner and take them up on a mountain and have a table, two chairs, a candle and food waiting for you. Dine under the stars - it's magical.

Don't touch your partner only in sexual ways. Hold hands, kiss their cheek softly, tell them you love them (and really mean it). Act like you did when you were first dating.

Write your feelings for each other on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle
close it and let it go together at the sea.

When she goes out of town without you...write her a letter for each day that
she is gone and give her instructions not to read it until that night! My
boyfriend did that for me and it was so sweet!

With just a dab of soap, write on the bathroom mirror something sweet (or sexy). Rub over it a few times until you can't see the soap residue. When he steps out of the shower, the mirror steams up, but your message is visible.

You might want to try this one he'll love it. I sent my husband for 4 days a package through the mail with a romantic card telling him I wanted a date with him on Friday and I included 2 wine glasses and massage oil and put in a few candy kisses, he received the package on Tuesday. The 2nd package was a very skimpy see through short robe received on Wednesday. The 3rd was a very skimpy see through short negligee received on Thursday. The 4th was a thong which arrived on Friday. When I got home from work he had a candle lite dinner waiting for me soft music playing. Need I say any more? By the way we are in our fifties and we always look for ways to keep the spark alive. (You could send packages to work if that is possible my husband gets the mail so it worked for us.)

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One morning before your boyfriend goes in to take a shower have "I LOVE YOU" written in shaving cream on the shower wall, then see if he comes back in your room and smiles at you.


Buy glow in the dark stick on stars and a black light - stick the stars all over the ceiling and walls of the bedroom. You will only see them with a black light - make love under the stars - black light reflective body paints are fun too!

Fill the house with scented candles and take a bubble bath together. Then feed each other ice cream and cuddle all night long.

Always be honest about what you feel. And try to be attentive to what they say and how they feel. Women love intimacy.

Make him laugh every day. Even if it means having to walk around with your underwear on your head. Laughing helps relieve stress and can make the tension disappear. After he laughs, kiss him and sit on his lap and say, "I love you." I promise, he won't forget that moment.

Try writing her a poem about how she makes you feel. She’ll love to see the romantic side you you!

Look into her eyes when you talk. Remember to ask about her thoughts, feelings, etc. Really listen to her! Make her feel like she’s the most important thing in the world to you.

Meet him at the door wearing nothing at all.

Men like visual stimulation - leave the lights on when making love, buy some sexy lingerie.

Take an empty medicine bottle and replace the label with a handmade label of your own which says something like, "Love Potion - Take as needed". Then on little pieces of paper, write love notes, romantic thoughts, etc., and places these inside the bottle. You can make this nicer by writing these notes on small strips of ribbon or other interesting items. You can also decorate your label with colored hearts - anything fun. Then give this to your lover, or place it where they'll find it as a surprise. This will be one prescription they'll never forget.

Guys - Never, never, never look at other women when you’re with your wife/girlfriend!

Call him at work and invite him on a date, or just tell him you love him.

Send HIM flowers for a change.

Find old love letters your partner has written to you over the years and arrange them together on a hard surface in a pleasing way and have it framed. This will give you both a nice reminder of your love every time you look at it.

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Call her during the day just to say hello. Tell her you miss her and you’re thinking about her.

Leave little love notes for her to find in various places throughout the day.

Take a photo of yourself naked (or wearing very little) and put it in his briefcase to find later in the day. He won’t waste time getting home that night I promise you!

Buy a big bag of Hershey candy kisses. Make a trail leading from the front door to the bedroom. Let the trail end with a note on the floor which says, "I kiss the ground you walk on." He can't help but blush!

Hold hands in public, open the car door for her, treat her like you’re on your first date.

Guys love surprises! At least my boyfriend does. Think of any and every way you can surprise your man - send him clues in the mail or leave him hidden notes, etc., which lead him to a secret treasure, special gift, romantic dinner, or even YOU!

I just wanted to say this is a great web page. I’m going to leave it up on the computer and hope my Husband reads it!

Tell her you love her - everyday.

Do something unusual. Have a picnic on the roof.

Slow dance with her in your living room - be spontaneous.

Fill a box with romantic ideas and have her reach in and pick one with her eyes closed. Then do whatever is on the piece of paper.

Share your deepest thoughts, feelings, and fears with her. Women love intimacy.

Candles, candles, candles! Do I need to say more?

Hug her for no reason. Tell her you love her in front of others.

Buy a book on sensual massage, get some fragrant candles and put on some soothing music. Don’t forget the oil (warm it). Then invite her into the bedroom and pamper her!

Make a jigsaw puzzle from a photograph of the two of you - It's fun and easy to do. You can use a child's puzzle as a template (large pieces). You can also do this with just a picture of yourself as a special gift - if you're daring, use a photo where you're wearing very little, etc. Wink.

Remember all the important dates - anniversary, her birthday, Mother’s day, etc. You mess up on these and you can forget about getting romance or anything else for a long, long time. Do I sound guilty or what?

Recreate your first date, or the time when you proposed to her.

Decorate an old shoe box and fill the inside with pictures of you and the two of you. Put chocolate kisses inside and love notes. This makes a good Valentines Day gift.

Call your wife at work and ask her out on a date. Make it like you’re strangers and your calling for a first date. Buy her flowers and take her to dinner - the entire time, pretend it’s your first date. Have fun with it.

Cuddle after sex.

Leave a trail of rose pedals leading from the door into the bathroom. Be waiting for him in the tub with lots of bubbles and candles.

I made a really easy recipe for fortune cookies, then I made the fortunes very romantic favors - beneficial to us both. You might want to set a cookie limit - just a couple a day or a few each week, so they last a while. You'll both love this one!

Buy a can of spray whipping cream and make yourself a whipped cream bikini. Use your imagination from there.

If you’ve been married for many years, think about recommitting your marriage. Or upgrade her wedding ring. Anything to let her know you’d marry her all over again.

Dress up for her. If you’ve been together a long time, it’s easy to let things go. Try and look good for her.

Leave sexy notes for him to find throughout the day.

Join him in the shower some morning.

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Write down all the things you love about your partner - use really nice paper or something unusual to write these on, then have it framed and give it to them as a gift. Remember, it's not the price of the gift, it's the meaning behind it that counts.

After a long hard day at work, give him a foot massage with lotion. My man loves it!

Insert love notes and sexy or romantic thoughts, ideas, suggestions into balloons, then blow them up. Try to fill your bedroom at least 1/4 full of these balloons. She’ll love it!

If she travels a lot, meet her at the airport when she arrives home just to surprise her - tell her you missed her.

Send her flowers at work for no reason. She’ll be the envy of every woman there.

How long has it been since you did something as simple and romantic as taking a walk by moonlight? Sometimes the simplest things can be the most romantic.

Cook her a romantic dinner. Don’t forget to set the appropriate mood - music, candles.

Put on some music and have him sit on the edge of the bed. Dim the lights or light the room with candles, then do a striptease for him. Make sure you have something sexy on under your clothes. Take your time... Trust me, he’ll love it.

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Dealing With Break-ups

by Carmen Sutra

Make no mistake. Breaking up is tough on both parties. Of course the one who initiates it is always vilified, and the one who is left behind feels crushed. Both positions are bad so let's talk about the actual conversation first.

If you know its coming, avoid a heated argument. Try to app- roach your partner as if you're meeting for the first time. In other words treat with courtesy and respect no matter how hard. The one thing that amazes me is how ugly people treat each other who were just moments earlier professing their profound love.

Get through this conversation with respect and dignity. The last thing you want to do is use inflammatory language which would only add insult to injury. If this is going to end it doesn't matter who is wrong or right does it? The phrases to avoid are:

"You ALWAYS..." Nobody always does anything, and even if they do it might be around 90%, but the point is not to use those damaging qualifiers.

"You NEVER..." This is another really bad idea when trying to keep your conversation constructive. What you're really saying is that in the past your partner has not engaged in the behavior you would have appreciated more often; but that's much longer and not as easy as "you never."

While we're on the subject of fair conversation, it might be a good idea to avoid starting a sentence with the word "you" in general. Starting off with "you" puts the other person in a defensive position. Rather than hearing what you have to say, they simply tune you out and gather more defensive rhe- toric to throw back at you.

If you want to try to part with dignity and good terms, act as though you're having a discussion with a friend you haven't been romantically connected to. It keeps things less messy. Also, don't ever let it disintegrate into name-calling or insults. You're supposed to act like an adult and this is even if you're breaking up because your partner already start- ed dating somebody else (really awful stuff there).

After you've survived he conversation, how do go about repair- ing the huge wound that used to be your heart? This is much harder for some than others, but if you're the type of person who doesn't mind being alone, its time to read those books and get back out into public participation.

Notice I didn't suggest getting involved right away? That's because you should use this time to ask some questions like: what did you learn about yourself from that last relationship? What do you want to change in your next relationship based on what you've just experienced?

If you don't do well by yourself, now is the time to rally around your friends and family. These people love you uncon- ditionally and now is the time for you to get those hugs and words of encouragement. Sometimes they say the wrong thing, but try to remember that its always in the effort to make you feel better about yourself. You might hear things that bother you like, "We never liked them anyway" or my favorite, "You were too good for them, find someone more in your lea gue." Perhaps their words are not always appropriate, but their hearts are in the right place.

I also ask that you do not indulge in some self-destructive behavior like drinking to excess, or partying to "forget." The worst thing you could do is get blithering drunk, when you already feel vulnerable, hurt, and have suffered a blow to your self esteem. Keep busy, but make it constructive: stain the deck, clean the attic, go to the gym, or take a ride on a Harley. As long as its something you love, now is the time to treat yourself.

Once the storm is over and you start to feel more like your old self; people will notice your glow and your confidence which could be the start of something better! Okay, glow is a little over the top so let's try this: stay away from the Ben and Jerry's so you don't wind up in a self-pity spiral where you feel unloved and fat! I hope you can find your way through these troubled times, and please tell me your break- up remedies! I'll print them this Friday for sure! As always I remain...

Devotedly yours,

Carmen Sutra

Come To Me

by Troy Johnson

My ego's hard. Hard like a ceramic figurine, though. Bang it against the wall enough times and it's gonna end up in pieces and good only as mosaic art. I'm a male, a part of the notorious clan of club-stalking libido-driven droolers. Our minds are reportedly so simple that we only work on half of the binary system-there's only ONE thing in this mental matrix.

And yes, while it's true that Victoria Secret catalogs are the kindling for some of my favorite daydreams, I'm not a 6-foot erection when I go out to clubs. But, having mild facial hair and the X-chromosome apparatus, sometimes it does seem that women of the night life think I must be all ADIDAS (All Day I Dream About...).

Possibly this is the root of women's reluctance to approach a man, order him a drink, and lure his uncoordinated ass out onto the dance floor. They think they're approaching a living, breathing, heat-sinking sex toy. I can tell you, though, that most of the normal boys don't believe that a little jigging to the DJ or a bit of shared conversation means the sheets will be a'wrinkled and the parties movin' to the bedroom soon thereafter.

I like the thrill of the chase, indeed. But I can tell you that if you called your neighborhood salesman tonight and said you want to come over and see his product, he wouldn't blast you off the phone with, "hell no, I only come to you!"

The times are changing. Chivalry's a coed concept. If I drove a horse to the grain yard every day, I might like a demure, shy woman. But being the 21st century, I'm looking for a strong will and a decently confident woman-the kind of woman that taps you on the shoulder and says, "hey, wanna share a drink?"

Like I said earlier, my ego's hard-yet-breakable. Over the years, I've been instantly thwarted by enough women who seem to think the whole purpose of my "hello" is to eventually undo their 501s that I hardly ever approach a woman I don't know.

Of course, this isn't true of all women in clubs-mainly high-maintenance, traditional "club women". The sort that have read all the right books and been to all the right clubs and think they know 'how to play the game.' For those, I just have to say-there are a lot of guys who aren't into the game, but merely would like to meet a good girl and have a dance, share a drink, and possibly exchange a phone number. And should we both decide to strip each other nude on the trolley and trip the light rail fantastic, so be it.

But the fact is, most of us don't expect anything. When a woman approaches me, I don't translate her 'hello' into 'gosh, I'm really a horndog and I'd like to see if our groin parts are compatible for the night'.

There are others out there, and they're growing in numbers. The new hybrid of woman who knows when to hide and when to hit. The kind of woman that, if choking, will use the edge of the table to Heimlich herself instead of waiting for someone to do it for her. For those women, my phone number is...

My favorite "approached" memory is from college: entering a party, a younger girl grabbed my hand and said, "you're mine for at least five minutes. My name's Tara." She didn't take me into the beer cooler and service me. Nor did I expect her to. We ended up talking for a few hours, and dating for six months.

My prime attraction to her (which, for a time being, eclipsed the unworkable differences discovered later) was that this was a woman with enough self-esteem to pilot her own boat into uncharted waters. She was the fisher, I the fish. The confidence with which she pulled out this reversal of stereotypes kept me around for six months and keeps her in my mind to this day.

So women, tap that shoulder and say hello. Buy him a drink. Stare the stereotype in the face and laugh a bit.

Stop Waiting To Exhale and Get Into The Game

by Roni White

Guys are tired of rejection, and who can blame 'em? The poor lads can only hear the word no (or see that ever-popular roll of the eyes) so many times before it starts to snap their spirit into splinters.

Admittedly, I am of the younger generation, and this may be indicative of my age. But who are we to hold the philosophy that men are the only ones who are supposed to endure this shooting down? Is it because we've been taught over the years that 'good girls' don't make the first move? Well, yesterday's definition of 'good girl' is today's 'lonely girl'. The old 'stay cool and act under-eager' rule hasn't gotten us anywhere but spread out by ourselves on the couch one too many night.

Ladies, we've had it good, but the pendulum must swing eventually, and no time like the present-we can't deny that guys have made it really easy for us over the years. They've allowed us to play a passive role to their approaching strategies. And we love it-we love the fact that we're expected to work as much as parking booth attendants (who also simply wait until someone approaches them).

We've been spoiled to the point of princessdom-we assume that men should pursue us by initiating the conversation, picking an interesting topic of discussion, asking for a date, and then emptying their wallets in the attempt to entertain us.

But is it fair?

Well, it was when the woman's father provided a dowery upon marriage (that sum of money offered with his daughter in return for the male's 'courtship expenses.') There are no horses on the streets. No carriages. Your name 'aint Jane Eyre and his 'aint Biff Charming. This is 2000, a new millennium with a new set of rules. And we shouldn't be twiddling our thumbs waiting for a man to make that nerve-breaking first move. It's time to get in the game, girls, and start a little man hunting of our own.

Women have made major strides toward equality in the home and in the workplace over the past few decades, but what about in the dating scene? Go to any club on any given night and see how many women are sitting around waiting to be approached by a guy. It's like we're merchandise, and the guys are the shoppers.

Listen to some women speak as they leave the club discussing how they had such a bad time because nobody proffered them to dance. But who's really to blame for our uninteresting time, ladies? We are!

How can we sit on a barstool or stand in a corner of a club crowded with attractive people and complain when no man comes to rescue us from our self-made asylum? I mean, what are we-attractions at the zoo where the price of admission is a drink, an immunity to rejection and a good line?

If we sat our behinds on that barstool then we're the only ones responsible for getting out of that situation, not some guy you haven't even met yet. The male ego's been a pinata for long enough, ladies, so let's give these guys a break for a change and ask one of them to dance, or offer to buy one of them a drink. As much as men love the challenge of the pursuit, there's not one of them that wouldn't trade that in for a night of being the one pursued.

So, the next time you find yourself attracted to a guy, stop before you employ your usual tactics of batting your eyelashes and giving coy smiles, and step up to the plate and just ask him out. And yes, ladies, when you make the invitation, you should pay for the evening. It works both ways. But won't it be worth a little cash to know that you didn't have to sit by your phone for three days waiting for him to call to ask you out? Because, let's face it, we all know that the majority of the time we wait for a guy to do something, we end up doing just that ... waiting.

And I, for one, am tired of sitting idly by and giving men all the power over whether I have a good time or not, and you all should be too. Single women, it's time to start going after what we want and stop leaving it all up to the fellas. It can't be that hard, they've been doing it for years, and, ladies, anything they can do, we can do better ... and with style.

Love or Lust? Ten Things To Do On A Saturday Night

by Coco Helado

Figuring out what to do on a Saturday night is the easy bit. The hard part is avoiding misunderstandings about what it is you're really after. Whether it's everlasting love or burning lust, you'll want to tailor your plans accordingly. The following guidelines should help you clearly and effectively convey your true intentions.


Call at least four days in advance, requesting the pleasure of her company.

Call her at least 20 minutes in advance, and ask, "Can I come over?"


Maximize class factor. Channel Audrey Hepburn.

Maximize jiggle factor. Channel Pamela Anderson.


Cook most the meal yourself, but invite your partner to join you for the finishing touches, to give a sense of partnership. This meal should convey the idea that loving domesticity can be a feast for the senses. Choose a homey yet delicious menu, such as roast chicken or rack of lamb. Drizzle truffle oil over mashed potatoes, transforming this ordinary dish into a veritable bowl of luxuriousness.

Prepare appetizers before your guest arrives: finger food, nothing fancy. Keep the lighting low. The idea is that she may nibble, but YOU are the main course.


Choose a restaurant based on romantic potential: soft lighting, somewhat quiet ambiance, a menu rooted in the Romance Languages: French, Spanish, Italian.

Choose a restaurant where you can order over-rich foods—oysters, foie gras, chocolate mousse—that spoil quickly, implying that this is a one-time opportunity, and there's no chance of a repeat performance.


Discreetly take it as soon as it arrives, and don't allow her to see it. Decline her offer to split it with you. After all, her company is payment enough.

Look at the bill. Then look at her. Say, "So. Are you coming over?"


Ask him if there's anything he'd like to see. After all, how bad can Samurai Tomb Destroyer 4 really be?

Choose something boring. Sit in the back row.


Go for a popular drama, comedy, or foreign film.

Reach for the box labeled, "Terms of Endearment." But make sure you've switched the video inside with the adult title, "Terms of Endowment." Once you've turned it on, feign surprise, then say, "Well, we might as well watch this one."


Tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the room. Then take her up on the roof or into the garden to look at the stars. Kiss her on the lips.

Tell her she's the hottest babe in the room. Then take her into the bathroom. Kiss her everywhere but the lips.


Proudly introduce him to everyone as "Michael, my boyfriend." Don't invite ex-boyfriends unless they're truly good friends with no ulterior motives.

Just say, "This is Michael." Look uncomfortable. Make sure you invited as many of your exes as you could. If it doesn't work out with Michael, maybe you'll get lucky with one of them.


Surprise with box seats at the opera. Offer to buy her the libretto.

Surprise her with seats at a strip club. Offer to buy her a lap dance.

Today's Topic: Male Stages of Arousal

by Carmen Sutra

As requested I'm going to write about the other side of the coin, male arousal. The whole point of getting to know this is not as obvious as you think. First of all, most men should take the time to learn this if they ever decide they want to practice multiple male orgasms.

Before I begin, I'll remind all of my new readers that size has nothing to do with becoming a multiple male. So many people are working under the impression that size is the key when its really the strength of the PC muscle. The other issue revolves around age. There is none. You can learn these tech- niques at any point in time and you don't need years of prac- tice.

Why is it important for us to know about the male stages of arousal? Simple. Its so you can measure where your partner is at so you can learn to pace yourself. Younger males tend to go through the stages like lightening so orgasm and ejacula- tion happen quickly. Sometimes too quickly. Older men have the advantage of time and experience so they can pace them- selves and make it last longer. This enables them to explore every angle of their partner with a much better chance at finding and stimulating the G-Spot.

Arousal is more than just the obvious erection. It comes in four very distinct phases:

1. The first stage is firmness or lengthening.

2. The second is swelling.

3. The third stage is hardness.

4. The fourth (and most overlooked stage) is heat.

Knowing which level you're at is crucial so you can learn to pace yourself or plateau. For instance, if you're already at hardness and about to approach heat. You should take several deep breaths and slow down until you know you're back at swelling. Because the penis is filled with spongy tissue that swells with blood, you can look at arousal like a flood gate.

Before you tell me that you go through these stages too quickly, allow me to offer some constructive help. I don't think your best bet is to try to discern and control your arousal level with your partner; it's too distracting and you'll probably abandon the mission before you learn.

My suggestion is of course to go solo. This way you can real- ly concentrate on differentiating between these levels with- out feeling too much pressure to perform. And before you ask, yes I think all women should masturbate as well so they get to know their bodies too.

Yes, great sex is about letting go but a little thinking can yield great results. I'm going to assume the first three stages are self-explanatory so let's go to the fourth. If you remember from the issue on the arousal scale, heat is that point around 8 and 9. 10 of course means orgasm is almost here and ejaculation is imminent. Heat should feel like just that. You're covered in your partners juices and start to feel a heated throb. If you think you're getting there too quick you need to breathe in through your nose and pretend as if you're breathing in through the tip of your penis as well. Slow your pace by going to shallow and slow thrust, or if you must with- draw for a second. Once you play around with pushing the env- elope, you'll have a better feel for when you can retract, and when you can't. There is no failure either. If you ejaculate too soon while you masturbate; enjoy the experiment and start over again.

The ultimate goal is to synchronize your arousal level with your partner so you can share a more fulfilling experience. As with all techniques, everyone is different and not every- body can do this right away. It depends on how comfortable you are with your partner and how willing you are to learn to read each other's body language. If I needed to explain the first three levels, please write to me. Sometimes I assume that the descriptions are obvious. Try to learn your arousal stages, and I'll expect to hear how it goes. Tell me your experience with it (who knows, you might even find a fifth!) As always I remain...

Devotedly yours,

Carmen Sutra

Devotedly yours, Carmen Sutra To subscribe Copyright 2000 by Pulse Direct, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Three Biggest Mistakes Men Make

by Doc Love

Dear Doc Love,

Hi, my name is Branden, I'm 28 and I manage a health food store near San Francisco. I've just started dating a girl I really like, Esmeralda. She's 24. Very pretty. We've had three fun dates so far. But, I'm kind of worried. My problem is that women keep flaking out on me by the fifth or sixth date and I do not know why. I'm almost embarrassed to tell you that this has happened to me several times. But I would do anything to not lose this girl. She's really special.

I'm a good-looking guy, and attractive women are definitely attracted to me. They seem to like me a lot at first and then things usually just go downhill from there. I can sort of feel that the same thing might be starting to happen again with Esmeralda. God, I don't want to blow it this time!

One of the guys who works with me told me that I should start reading your weekly column and that it would help me a lot. So I am, but in the meantime, I thought I'd go straight to the source and just get some advice from you directly.

Doc, what do you think I could be doing wrong? I'm always real positive. Like on our last date, I held Esmeralda's hand and told her how beautiful I thought she was and how attracted to her I am. She seemed to like that, but I'm not sure because she also seemed a little distracted at the end of the date. (A female friend of mine recommended that I say those things - see how confused I am)?

So, any advice you can give me would be super appreciated.

Branden - who doesn't want to go down in flames again

Hi Branden,

If you keep losing these girls, then you are indeed doing something wrong, probably several things wrong. But take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your confusion. Most guys simply never receive any accurate info on how to relate to women from a place of power and mastery. Their models for manhood come from a mishmash of sports heroes, rock or rap musicians and movie stars, most of whom are living in a fantasy world and have a twisted sense of values.

Finding a model of manhood who's not an idiotic egomaniac, a macho moron or a screw-up is a challenging task. And very, very few teenage boys have the good fortune to have fathers or big brothers in their lives that really understand women and know how to coach kids properly.

Consequently, most guys find themselves adrift in the dating world, shooting from the hip and flying by the seat of their pants, using the trial and error method. (Always on trial and frequently NOT learning from their errors.)

Branden, you need basic training, training that you've never been given. You've gotta get street-smart, dude. But that's not going to happen if you keep taking advice from women. Women can tell you what they think they want from a man, but they are essentially incapable of telling you what they will actually respond to emotionally!

So allow me to be your mentor, and provide you with three simple but powerful principles that will transform your love life. Here they are.

During the first sixty days of dating:

1) Do not come on heavy - keep it light

This means: Don't tell her how pretty she is or how much you like her or that you'd like to see her again. Keep it positive Branden. Keep her laughing. Give her no more than one compliment per date. No gifts and no flowers, all of which she experiences as appeals for her approval. (Don't try to impress her.) Don't talk about your feelings for her or your romantic Interest Level. Instead, let her wonder where she stands with you. Remain mysterious.

2) Do not touch her - let her do all the touching

If a girl likes you, she will automatically begin to touch you and will increase the frequency of touching as she spends more time with you. If you try to raise her Interest Level by touching HER a lot, your actions will backfire. You will inhibit her impulse to touch YOU. She will begin to feel uncomfortable, and she will withdraw from you. Most guys have absolutely no understanding of this principle of romantic relationships. Believe it or not, the less you touch her, the more she will want to touch you.

3) Do not mention or hint at the topic of sex.

Way too many guys have a terrible habit of talking about sex on a date. If you start trying to get your date turned on by talking about sex, you will turn her off! Yes. I said, you would turn her off. Even if she makes jokes or hints about sex, don't jump on it like most guys do. Instead, playfully steer her away from the topic. Trust me, this will work to your advantage.

Branden, if you begin practicing just these three principles from "The System," your love life will improve immensely and you won't have to go down in flames ever again.

Remember, guys, start with the basics.

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The “System,” visit me at or call (800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?” © Copyright DocLove Dot Com Columns

Come To Me....

Stop Waiting To Exhale and Get Into The Game....

Investing In a Relationship....

Today's Topic: Male Stages of Arousal....

My Man Doesn't Want Sex....


Dealing With Break-ups....

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Investing In a Relationship

by Allen Thompson

If you want to keep your lady, and not be cast upon the broken-hearted heap of lovers she's left behind, you must get her invested in your relationship.

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something invested in you and the relationship, preferably QUITE A LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

And I hate to break it to you, friend, but there's always someone a little more "interesting" just around the corner.

So what exactly do we mean by getting her to invest in your relationship?

Think about a Vegas slot machine. Imagine your girlfriend slowly approaching it, studying it for a moment, tentatively sitting down, then popping a coin in and pulling the handle. The odds being what they are, she doesn't win anything... this time anyhow. So she tries again... and again... and again. Pretty soon she's not only got a lot of money invested in this machine, but also a good deal of time, effort, and hope invested as well. In fact, the more she "invests" in this machine, the harder it will be for her to get up and walk away. Because she's convinced that if she keeps at it, keeps pulling that handle, eventually she's going get what she wants. The very next pull might be the one that sets off the jackpot.

Now if her girlfriend came up to her after she'd put only a coin or two in the machine and said, "Let's go. Wayne Newton's coming on in half an hour." She'd probably pop right up and head on out to see the show - Wayne being a little more "interesting" than the slot machine she's sitting at.

On the other hand, if her girlfriend came up to her with the same offer after she'd been continuously popping coins in this #*%#@# machine for half an hour, it would be much harder for her to get up and leave, and give up her "investment" in this machine... even with the mighty Wayne beckoning to her from just across the street.

Well, in the Dating Casino of Life, you are the slot machine. And it's your job, as a successful and happy Don Juan, to keep your lady pumping those coins in - and upping her investment in you - so that as soon as Wayne Newton, or some other hairy-butted diversion comes along, she won't be tempted to take off and check out his show.

Okay, so now that you realize the power of investing, the question becomes: how do we up her investment in the relationship so she's not tempted to leave us as soon as something, or someone, a little more interesting comes along?

Let's focus on three critical areas.

The first and most important area you want to focus on is EFFORT. You must get her to invest effort into your relationship... basically let her, ask her, or prompt her if necessary, to do things for you - from time to time. Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Let her make you dinner occasionally. Ask her to pick you up, or to drive when the two of you go out. Tell her your shoulders are sore, and "a massage sure would feel good right now." Basically, let her do some of the things for you that you, being the really great guy that you are, often do for her.

And, I need to point this out, it should NOT be difficult to get her to do these things for you. You don't have to trick her or force her to do anything. In fact, if she really likes you, she will offer, and actually enjoy, doing things for you. And if she doesn't offer or enjoy doing things for you, then she's only in the relationship for what she can get out of it, and what she can get out of you. And that, needless to say, would not be a good deal for you.

You do deserve a little better than that, don't you?

You can also up her investment in you by getting her to spend some of her OWN hard-earned MONEY during the course of your relationship. Let her pay for dinner once in a while, or buy the movie tickets, or pick up the pizza on her way over (and you don't pay her back). You should not be paying for everything. She should be paying for quite a lot actually. And this has nothing to do with this being the 21st century, and women being equal to men, and making just as much money, and blah blah blah. This has to do with upping her investment in you and decreasing the probability that she will move onto someone else as soon as you do something just a little bit annoying.

You don't always insist on paying for dinner when you go out, or the concert tickets, or the drinks, or whatever. You let her pay if she offers, or you subtly prompt her to pay if she doesn't offer. When the subject of your birthday comes up, you don't say, "Oh, you don't have to get me anything. Being with you is present enough." You tell her what you want, or you hand her your list.

Money, money, money. What's the point of her having it if she can't spend it on you? :) (Note: the first few dates are different. If she wants you to pay for things, and you want her, then do it.)

You can also up her investment by getting her to invest TIME into your relationship. Time, in this instance, means that you and her frequently do things that YOU want to do. You don't always do exactly what she wants. Once in a while, you insist on going to your favorite restaurant, or to the ballgame, or out with your idiotic, obnoxious friends. There's NO investment of time on her part if you're always doing things that she wants to do. Heck, if you weren't around, she'd probably be doing those same things with someone else. It's only an investment if it's something that she doesn't want to do or wouldn't normally do if you weren't around (which doesn't necessarily mean she won't enjoy it).

Let's say that you and her go to the auto show, which bores her. Then to your favorite restaurant, which never has anything she likes to eat. Then to the movies, where you watch the latest Schwarzenegger flick (she hates Schwarzenegger). Are you going to enjoy yourself? Yes! Is she going to enjoy herself? Probably not. Is she going to complain while you're out? Maybe. Is she going to call her girlfriend up the next day and rip you to shreds? You bet. Is this evening, which on the surface looks like a very very bad idea, going to increase or decrease her attraction toward you? Well, if it's the first or second date, you're history. Sayonara, Baby. Don't call her cause she won't be calling you.

But if it's the 5th date, or the 10th date, or the 30th date, it might actually work to your advantage. Why? Because you've gotten her to invest some of her precious time into your relationship. You weren't doing what she wanted to do... that night anyway. You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to occasionally do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something - time, effort, money.

But this attitude is completely contrary to that of most guys when entrenched within the thralls of a Goddess. The standard reply on date night is, "I don't care. Whatever you want to do is fine with me." The guy is crazy about the girl. He's happy just to be with her. He doesn't really care what they do as long as they do it together. This is a mistake.

If you're always doing what she wants to do, if you're always paying for everything, if you're always putting out all the effort, she will still have, weeks or months down the road, nothing invested in you. And as soon as you get a little annoying, or as soon as someone else comes along a little less annoying, she'll be gone... and you'll be left sitting at home, wondering what you did wrong, and getting more and more bitter toward the opposite sex. After all, you treated her like gold, did everything for her, spent a fortune on her, and she threw you out like smelly garbage. Happens all the time. The guys who treat their women like goddesses and put themselves out to try to keep her as happy as possible, without expecting anything in return, invariably get burned. Let me repeat the key point in that sentence just so you don't miss it: without expecting anything in return. You must expect her to treat you as well as you treat her.

Now logically, one would think that women would love the "goddess" treatment. Always doing what she wants to do, you always paying for everything, her never really having to put out any effort. The novice Don Juan usually believes this is the way to win a woman's heart. (And there are numerous relationship books which will tell you the same thing.)

But as we're dealing with women, not Vulcans, our strategy must be a little different... taking into account the somewhat illogical workings of the human mind.

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you. You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects to be treated well, she'll have no problem at all "forgetting" you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

On the other hand, what happens, in her mind, when you get her to invest effort, money, and time into your relationship?

Well, on a conscious level she may find herself somewhat annoyed once in a while - spending money, doing things she doesn't want to do, etc. But on a non-conscious level, she's looking at all the things she's doing for you, all the money she's spent on you, and all the times she's done things with you that she really didn't want to do, and she's thinking, "WOW! What a man! I must really like this guy. Look at how much I've put myself out for him.

I didn't do anything like this for my last boyfriend." And it will be extremely difficult for her to just drop you and move on.

(This is also why it can be very difficult for you to drop the Goddess, who treats you like scum, and move on. You have a great deal invested in her. If you move on, like everyone advises you to, you lose all that you've invested in her.)

You see, as I've mentioned before, rather than thinking things through very clearly before we act, we often do things and then rationalize our behaviors afterward. You want her to look back weeks, months, or years down the road, and realize that she's really done a lot for you. That she's spent a lot of money during the course of your relationship. That she's got a lot of time and life invested in you. And that she wouldn't have done any of that stuff if she didn't like you - A LOT!